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I have knocked and the door has been opened. I know there will be changes when I enter and this causes me to hesitate for a moment. After all, I've waited for this for a long time; am I sure? Have I asked all the questions? Do I know all the answers? No! Although people have told me what to expect I'm still apprehensive. Everybody's experience must be different, so how do they know what it will be like for me!
As I step over the threshold I see light and feel warmth. It's like stepping from darkness into light. I am momentarily disorientated but people come towards me and my hand is taken in welcome. My eyes slowly adjust to the brightness and now I can see that the room is filled with glowing lamps, each person carries one and it illuminates them. I'm struck by how peaceful and happy they seem with them.
I feel secure and delay my leaving for as long as possible, but I know I must go and get on with living my life. I have left something of my old-self behind but I'm taking something new with me. I have been given my own lamp and now I must learn how to carry it.
It feels awkward to start with. The lamp doesn't fit anywhere. I'm not sure which hand to carry it in and it takes a while before I feel comfortable with it. I'm so self-conscious. I'm sure everybody has noticed!
Time passes, and, almost naturally, I begin to rely on my lamp more and more. "It becomes a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." I begin to trust that it will keep the darkness at bay and help me see more clearly.
Now I've begun to experiment; I've tried lifting it to my face because I've discovered that "my eyes are a light to my soul" and I want others to see. I've also begun to practice leaving some of it behind with the people I come into contact with.
I've been back to God's house so many times. I just can't keep away! I guess you could say I'm dwelling in his presence!
Now I'm waiting for the day when a new person knocks and enters and it's my turn to give them their own lamp to take away with them.
You see, the End is the Beginning.
copyright 2002
Exodus 27:20-21
"Command the Israelites to bring you clear oil of pressed olives for the light so that the lamps may be kept burning. In the Tent of Meeting, outside the curtain that is in front of the Testimony. Aaron and his sons are to keep the lamps burning before the Lord from evening till morning. This is to be a lasting ordinance among the Israelites for the generations to come."
- Stella Nash