King David

Testimonies

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My Dad

I was born to Pat and John, and before long we moved to Bristol where I still live.  I don't have any memories before the age of six because at six years old I was in the hospital and I remember being told that my father was dead.  He was 40 years old and had died of a heart attack.  The next memory I have is of the funeral.  My whole world shattered and I cried all the time.  You see I didn't see my dad after he died and I wasn't sure if he was still alive or not.  Had he really died or just left me?  We went to visit the grave but I still wasn't sure and for years I used to look around to see if he was there, but over time I forgot what he looked like and came to the conclusion that if he was alive he really didn't want to know me.  It took years for me to believe I could be in the world and he wasn't here with me. 

We moved and at the age of 13 my life changed again because my mum met and married another man.  I was really happy for my mum, they seemed so in love.  I learned to get along with my new Step Father.  I knew that before long I would leave home and my mum would have someone to be with her and look after her and that was great.  Her new husband, Ken, was very practical and over the years he would try and help the family where he could but there wasn't a bond between us, just my mum but I was OK with that.  After all I had lost my dad and there was nothing I could do about it.

The next major event for this story is that I became a Christian and I started a walk with Jesus that would change my life forever.  There are many stories I could share about how amazing God has been to me but the one that is part of this story is during a Sunday evening service and it was Fathers Day.  All those who had problems with their relationship with their Father were asked to stand up and the Pastor would pray.  So I stood up and I had my eyes closed and had a vision.  I saw Jesus and next to Him stood another man, someone I didn't recognise, but I knew this man that Jesus was showing me was my father.  My father said that he loved me and that he was sorry.  To say I cried would be an understatement.  It finally brought healing to a place that I though could not be healed.  That's what Jesus is able to do.  After that time I was able to be open to God being my Father.  I know that He has all the qualities I want of a Father.  I could trust Him, He cares for me and He loves me just as I am.  I know this sounds silly but I was able to forgive my father for leaving me at such a young age and I could finally walk around without the anger and hurt that I had had for years.

You would think that was the end of the story but it isn't because God never stops wanting the best for us.  I was on retreat and met some incredible people and two of them were a retired pastor and his wife from America called Joy and Tai.  They were lovely and I was instantly drawn to them.  When I stood next to the man God revealed to me what He was like inside.  I was shown his gentleness and the knowledge that I could trust him.  It was a mind blowing experience.  I must have spend no more than about 20 minutes with them.  On the way home in the car I was praying and thanking God for the amazing time I'd had and I also thanked him for what he had shown me about Tai.  I was thinking about it and summed up that I would have liked my father to have been like that.  The Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me that I could ask Tai to be my father.  A spiritual father for the next phase of my journey.  You can imagine how emotional I felt after 40 years to be offered such a gift.  When I got home I wrote to them and asked if they would like the job.  The letter came back in the post and I hesitated to open it, what if they said "no"!  The Holy Spirit stepped in again and told me that it would be alright.  I opened the letter and they agreed to fill the position.  There is now someone in the world that I can call Dad.  God can answer prayers that we don't even dare to ask.  He can give hope for the most impossible situation, never stop believing and never stop asking.

Thank you for reading this.  I know for many of you it will be emotional because you too have no father.  If you would like me to pray for you then drop me an e-mail to saray@king-david.org and I will be happy to pray for you.

- Sarah Parsons-Winter